This Is the End.

HO HO HOAX

A Short Story

 

Our Christmas tree was lit by twinkling red and white lights. The whole house smelled of the popcorn my mom had used to string around the tree. This was my favorite time of year; decorating the house, playing board games with my dad who was usually away, beating my little brother in candy cane sword fights, and waiting for Santa.

 

This was an important Christmas, no doubt. At 9 years old, I was a busy guy. I took care of my younger brother and sister, four-year-old twins, and let me tell you it is not easy keeping those two in line. I knew I had been good this year so I was expecting Santa to deliver. He’s a giver, I’m a giver, I respect Santa. So I guessed he’d figure out that I really really deserved the Star Wars Lego set I had asked for when we went to see him at the mall. (I knew that wasn’t the real Santa because I don’t think the real Santa smells like cigarettes, but the real Santa knows everything so I know he still got my list.)

 

My Mom had just brought down the box of ornaments so I could start filling up the tree.

I opened the first box and picked out a shiny, red bell. It read “Jimmy’s 1st Christmas 2003.”

 

“Look, Mom!”

 

“Aww I remember that one! You were so teeny back then.” She touched me on the nose

and patted me on the head as she said this.

 

My mother’s phone rang and she put her box of ornaments down to answer it. “Hello? Hey. What? No – No, Jack you can’t do that. You promised. Not right now – not so close to Christmas,” she was talking to my dad. I remembered hearing other conversations like this and guessed what was going on. She looked at me before walking out of the room.

 

I looked back down at the ornament in my hand and waited for her to come back. A green ribbon was threaded through a hole in the bell so it could hang from the tree, but it was fraying near the knot holding it together. I played with the delicate ribbon between my fingers, careful not to undo the knot.

 

She walked back into the room looking red in the face. She handed me the phone, “Here, Jimmy. Your father wants to talk to you.” I knew she was mad. She only calls him “my father” when she’s mad.

 

I put the phone to my ear, “Dad?”

“Hey, Bud,” he sounded tired. “How you doing?”
 

“Fine.”

 

“Jimmy, I’m really sorry, Buddy. But I’m not going to make it home like I thought I would. I can’t get time off.”

“But, Dad,” I whispered into the phone. “You promised.” I could feel my face getting hot.

 

“I know, Jimmy, but I just can’t make it. I tried my best.” There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.

 

                                    “OK, Dad.”

 

                                    He sighed, “I love you, Jimmy. Will you be the man of the house while I’m gone? Will you look

                                    after your Mom and Joey and Caroline for me?”

 

                                    “Sure.”

 

                                    “OK, Buddy. I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Dad. Bye.” I waited to hear him end the call. I looked up at my mother and handed the phone back to her.

 

“I’m sorry, Jimmy. But I heard your dad say you’re the man of the house while he’s gone. That means you get to put the star on the tree just like he does. Will that make you feel better?”

 

I shook my head up and down. She kissed me on the forehead and started digging through boxes to look for the star.

 

I guess putting the star on the tree would be fun. It would make me more like my dad. Most times he brought us little gifts from his trips – the plane peanuts for Joey, coins from different countries for Caroline, and travel brochures for me because I like to pretend that I get to go with him – but this time I told him he didn’t have to bring me anything if he could just come home instead. Mom would have to hold the ladder while I climbed up and placed the star on the top branch. She said it made her nervous to let me climb, but if Dad thought I could do it then I knew I could.

 

I watched my mom looking through the boxes and saw her pull out a teddy bear dressed like Santa. “Mom, Taylor O’Donnelly thinks Santa isn’t real and said that his Dad told him so. He said it’s impossible for one fat guy to ride all over the world in one night so he asked his Dad and his Dad said Santa wasn’t real. He’s wrong, right?”

 

“Taylor O’Donnelly said that, huh? Guess that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…”

“Yeah and Seth Greenberg said he never believed in Santa. He said Santa is just something people made up so kids who don’t get to celebrate Hanukkah don’t feel left out. But I thought Santa gave presents to everyone?”

 

Mom sighed, “Jimmy, why don’t you sit down? I figured this would start happening soon.” She looked at me nervously. “Let’s have a little talk." She sat me down on the couch and faced me from her chair. “Now, Sweetie, you know that Christmas is a very magical time for all of us what with baby Jesus being born and family gathering together and –“

 

“And the presents. Don’t forget the presents”

“Yes, dear, the presents are nice, too. But those aren’t what Christmas is really about, are they?”

 

I shook my head.

“Right. Now, as you’ve begun to figure out, it would be very difficult for one man to deliver all those presents in one night, and for him to keep tabs on all the other girls and boys in the world, and for him to build all of those toys and—“

 

“No, Mom, the elves build the toys.”

 

“Right… Well that’s not really the point here, Jimmy. What I’m trying to say is – I mean – what we love about Santa so much isn’t that he does all that stuff, right? It’s that he gives to all the girls and boys and has real Christmas spirit!”

 

Mom was wringing her hands and wiggling around in her seat. She had the same look on her face as the time she had to tell Grandma that the twins and I trampled her flowerbed.

 

“Mom?”

 

“Jimmy, there’s – there’s no easy way to say this…”

 

“Mom, what are you saying?”

 

“Well, Sweetie, Santa – Santa isn’t real, dear. I’m so sorry, Jimmy. But Santa will always be right here,” she placed one hand on my chest and another on hers.

 

I paused for a minute staring at her in shock while she waited for my reaction.

 

“Well, who puts the presents under the tree?”

 

“That would be your father and me,” she explained.

 

“Dad’s in on this, too?” I started feeling sick inside.

 

“Well, well yes of course. He helps me assemble the bigger toys like that scooter you got last year. And he always drinks the milk and eats the cookies.”

 

“That was Dad? He’s the one who eats those?”

 

I started to think about other things that had been suspicious to my classmates.

 

“So… what about the Easter Bunny?”

 

“Well, there isn’t an Easter Bunny either, dear.”

“Tooth Fairy?”

 

“No, no I’m afraid there’s no Tooth Fairy either.”

“Mom!”

 

“I’m sorry, Jimmy!” Mom sat next to me on the couch and put her arm around me. She smelled like cinnamon and pine trees. “But those things are – are part of what make childhood special. Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy make being a kid special and –“

 

“What a bunch of bull!”

 

“Jimmy! We don’t say that word… Now, look, I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but this is just part of growing up. And like I said before, Christmas is still a magical time! It’s a time for celebrating baby Jesus and for getting along with your brother and sister and being nice to people. It’s a time for love and joy and happiness and –“

 

“Lies!”

 

“I’m sorry, Sweetie,” she kissed me on the head. “If it makes you feel any better, Joey and Caroline don’t know about Santa yet. You get to pretend Santa exists for them for a few more years. Please do that for me, won’t you?”

 

“You guys say never to lie. You said lying is bad and so does Mrs. Brown and –“

 

“Jimmy, this is different,” she interrupted. My heart was beating faster and I could feel my face getting red. “This isn’t a mean lie; it’s a nice one. It makes Christmastime more special for children, but you’re a big boy now, right? Please promise me that you won’t tell Joey and Caroline. You can be in on the secret with your dad and me.”

 

“Ok.” I grumbled. Now I had to lie about Santa to Joey and Caroline, too? I felt uneasy, like the time my Dad let me eat too much Mac N Cheese and a hot dog for dinner.

 

“That’s my boy. I’m making your favorite for dinner since you had a long day. Why don’t you go do your math homework?”

“Yes, mom.” She kissed me on the forehead again and left the room. How could this be? My own mother.

 

And Dad. I guess he was in on it, too. He used to say being the man of the house while he was gone would put me on the “nice list.” Now what did being the man of the house get me?

 

I didn’t want to put the star on anymore.

 

As my mom left the room, I looked down at my hand to find the ornament I had picked up still inside my fist. The imprint of the bell was stamped onto my palm. I held the little bell up and shook it against my ear. It still sounded the same, but as I looked up around the room, nothing was as I remembered it. The lights on the tree looked dimmer. The stockings seemed smaller on chimney. I noticed a crack in the glass manger set that I had never seen before. The star sat still in its box.

 

I stood up to hang the ornament on the tree. As I laid the hook on the branch, the frayed ribbon finally gave out, causing the bell to fall to the floor with a loud, crashing clank; I picked it up and discovered a large dent on one side. Joey and Caroline burst into the room.

 

“Jimmy!” Joey froze in his tracks upon seeing the fallen bell. He looked at the bell in my hand, then up at me, then back down at the bell again. “Jimmy, you bwoke it!” This sent Caroline into a laughing fit.

 

“I know, Joey, I know.”

 

“It’s ok, Jimmy. I’m sure Santa will fo-give you.” He wrapped himself around the right side of my body and hugged it tightly. Caroline immediately followed on my left side.

 

At this I looked up at the ceiling, then back down at Joey. I patted his head. “Yeah, Joey. Yeah I think he will. Weren’t you guys playing hide and seek or something?”

 

“Come on, Cawoline!” The twins ran away cackling about their Christmas lists and reindeer.

 

I shook the bell again against my ear again. The old jingle was gone and in its place was a hollow clinking sound. Something that sounded nothing like Christmas. I put the bell and the green ribbon back in the box, which I hid in my secret hiding spot underneath by bed with all of my baseball cards and the good Halloween candy.